Arcane Bullshit
"Stop Looking At My Tiny Town" eBook Edition
"Stop Looking At My Tiny Town" eBook Edition
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Stop Looking at My Tiny Town is my first ever book. It began as a small, gentle meme, with an innocent 3-4 pictures, and (through a series of violent and awkward identity crises) evolved into a 64-page book. I don't know if you count the cover when you are counting pages, but I did. It's 62 if you don't count the cover, but I think this is the kind of substantial cover which should impact the page count.
As you move through the book's pages, you'll receive information which will stimulate thoughts and feelings and eventually create an idea/picture in your mind about a very bad and horrible town. The book doesn't really have a linear narrative structure which creates a sense of catharsis as your expectations and desires are rhythmically massaged toward resolution. It is more of just a single joke repeated over and over for just a little too long. But I think you'll like it anyway. There are pictures. And townsfolk. Not too many. Just the right amount of townsfolk.
This is the eBook edition, which doesn't have physical pages, but still creates the same mind-idea/picture as you absorb the information from the digital pages.
The PDF version is sized for iPads, although they're all kind of an awkward, square aspect ratio that won't fill your whole screen. It's for the best, really. A gorgeous fullscreen experience would just distract you from how bad the town is.
Also, I should mention, you are NOT ALLOWED to look at this book.
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Despite the extremely unsavory features of this town, I looked, and looked again, and looked AGAIN. It just got more and more alarming with every page, and yet I did not stop. Though warned, I did not stop.
This town is not a good town.
What better way to tell you how amazing not buying this book is than to share how I bought a very similar book and also haven't read it! This E-book version of "Stop looking at my tiny town!" is so much less physical than the high-quality hard cover printed edition, which makes resisting the temptation to observe the shitty little town contained within even more convenient.
I've had the physical book sitting in a position of pride at my home desk, just outside my field of vision; taunting me, mocking me, daring me to never look at the tiny town contained within. In my moment of greatest weakness in the depths of a depression when my husband has left me, I will say "Fuck you, Evan" and I will look at the town sandwiched between those sturdy covers and wallow in my perverse voyeurism. With this e-book version, I certainly would never be tempted to break this sacred contract, and my immortal soul would be safe, the PDF version lost in one of my many email accounts that I have used to elude the authorities thus far.
This e-book version DOES NOT contain a hefty Tiny Town Coin, the girth of which is perfect for ADHD afflicted technology nerds on Zoom listening to Sherman bitch about how I am making him "clear his cache" for the 87th time in order to make our website work correctly. If you desire to fondle the coin, do not purchase this e-book.
The coin, e-book, and physical copy are all MIT Literature Major approved. The seal of approval rests in my office on the East side of campus. If you can find me and fight me, you will finally receive my validation. And please don't tell Sherman I spoke about him.