Arcane Bullshit Oracle Deck (3rd Edition)
Arcane Bullshit Oracle Deck (3rd Edition)
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Heads up! The Arcane Bullshit Oracle Deck 3rd edition is currently out of print! But don't hurl yourself off of a ziggurat just yet! The FOURTH EDITION is coming in 2025. Stay tuned.
The Arcane Bullshit Oracle is a deck of 106 fortune-telling cards featuring fucked-up images and words.
The Arcane Bullshit second-edition Oracle deck features:
- 106 weird images printed on standard tarot-sized cards (70mm x 120mm)
- Premium quality card stock, matte finish
- A confusing 48-page perfect-bound guidebook
- A gloriously sturdy 2-piece box, printed inside and out with arcane nonsense
- Cool nudity and cursing
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The Arcane Bullshit Oracle deck changed my life, or maybe it didn’t, but who cares? I drew the “Penis Weasel” card last week, and now my houseplants won’t stop whispering to me about jazz. Coincidence? I think not. The matte finish on the cards feels like stroking a dolphin that has a PhD in existential dread, and the sturdy box is perfect for trapping the ghosts of your past mistakes.
The guidebook is a masterpiece of confusion—it told me to embrace “the undulating bean vortex,” and I’m still figuring out what that means. Honestly, it might have solved all my problems. Or created new ones. Either way, I’m obsessed.
Buy this deck. You’ll thank me when your third eye starts asking for snacks at 3 a.m.
I've given this three stars as I asked the Oracle Deck (which I bought before it was sold out and I'm sorry you can't have one now) how many stars I should give it.
But after I pulled three cards I was non the wiser till I realised that was the answer.
3, the magic number.
I'd like to have given it 5 but the cards are always right, it's really spooky.
My horse is super cool. Actually he is a Nazgul, and I am his Ringwraith. I am able to completely and accurately read his future with this superb deck! For instance, when he asks ‘When will you get my dinner’, I expertly deal his cards, ponder them, and give him his answer from the spirit world, ‘ In 5 minutes’!! Thank you, Evan!
The art is beautifully weird, the deck is gorgeously printed. I'm generally bad at absurdism because I'm a very literal person but this helps me to unshackle my inner weirdo. I've started carrying it around with me and pulling cards at random and it helps me to process the existential terror of living in this timeline.
The bullshit in this deck lead me on a path to cure my erectile dysfunction and saved my marriage. The path? Uneven and muddy. The erectile dysfunction? My tent pitching has never been more Patagonia Approved. The marriage? Who are we kidding, that cardboard cutout of Norm MacDonald was never going anywhere.