Shitty nonsense for strange and mysterious individuals.

Arcane Bullshit products are not recommended for tugboat captains, sapient dolls, anyone born before 1860, pond goblins, bread wizards, wheat barons, slug danglers, errant knaves, pheasant poachers, people who are trapped in a shrinking glass cube, Jervis Montcalm-Sprinkles III (specifically,) chasm ghouls, or spooky butlers.