Harness The Power of Bullshit.

Arcane Bullshit is a completely serious and functional fortune-telling oracle deck. It was forged in the crucible of eternal mysterious awesomeness and is a direct conduit to forgotten realms of reality-bending Bullshit. Just draw a card, stare into the profound imagery it reveals, then make up some shit about the future!

The Arcane Bullshit Oracle Deck features:

  • 100 original black and white illustrations
  • Dark, angsty subject matter
  • Surprisingly profound dick jokes
  • Ultimate mystical power!
  • Irony!

Mobilize your Bullshit.

Want to commune with the ancient spirits of Bullshit while you wait for a bus, or during your annoying son Kent’s flute recital? There’s an app for that! Check out the Arcane Bullshit App for Android.

WARNING: Use of Arcane Bullshit is not recommended for clerics, bishops, sapient dolls, anyone born before 1960, nieces, or butlers. Consult a physician immediately if you experience mind-rending hallucinations lasting longer than 666 hours, or your fingernails turn into soap.
For best results, set up a wicker tent in your den, home office, or wherever dark and unspeakable rites are performed. Consecrate the tent with koala tears and vermouth. Kneel on a balsa rod for no more than 66 seconds. Do not attempt to use Arcane Bullshit without a level 36 ectoplasmic shield, and a 4″ brass toad. Ages 9 and up.