Harness The Power of Bullshit.

Arcane Bullshit is a powerful fortune-telling card deck that makes unlocking the forbidden secrets of the shadowy future-scape safe*, easy**, and FUN for everyone!

The Arcane Bullshit oracle deck features:

One Deck - All of the Answers

With this deck of pictorial oracle cards, one can awaken and harness the ancient secret Magjickque of Bullshit for both entertainment and extreme soul-exploding enlightenment. There is no limit to the power and ecstasy one can achieve through communion with the cards!

Illuminate Yourself

Featuring all the main symbols, images, metaphors, patterns, pictures, signs and icons known to man, Arcane Bullshit is your gateway to a forgotten kingdom of esoteric gospel — and unimaginable freedom.

Jack up Your Intuition

Forget "inspiration" - Arcane Bullshit will rip apart your illusory preconceptions and bathe your soul in an infinite wellspring of incomprehensible visions.

Mysticism Without the Mystery

Arcane Bullshit may be a dangerous gateway to alien realms, but that doesn't mean everyone can't join in the fun! There is absolutely no wrong way use the cards. It's as easy as making up random shit! But just in case you aren't convinced that you're qualified to confront the unknowable wisdom of the cards, please DOWNLOAD THIS PRINTABLE CERTIFICATE which you can display proudly to prove to your friends and loved ones that you are are a certified Bullshit Master!

Spurious Transmissions from the imaginary abyss!

*Use of Arcane Bullshit is not recommended for clerics, bishops, sapient dolls, anyone born before 1960, nieces, recent grads, cherubs, or non-virgins. Consult a physician immediately if you experience mind-rending hallucinations lasting longer than 6 hours, or your fingernails turn into soap.
**For best results, set up a wicker tent in your den, home office, or wherever dark and unspeakable rites are performed. Consecrate the tent with koala tears and vermouth. Kneel on a balsa rod for no more than 66 seconds. Do not attempt to use Arcane Bullshit without a level 36 ectoplasmic shield, and a 4" brass toad.
†Arcane Bullshit is an absolutely serious and horrifying conduit to forgotten realms of incomprehensible illumination. Enjoy responsibly under the supervision of a qualified Shamen.
‡Arcane Bullshit is an incredibly grave and sophisticated divination system, steeped in potent and unfathomable meaning, and intended for the solemn contemplation of initiated disciples only. Ages 9 and up.

††Arcane Bullshit is not a substitute for bathing.

WARNING: We cannot not guarantee that your soul willn't be forever tainted by outrageously ruinous infernal taint resulting from the severely uncanny cosmic potentiality of the images contained herein. Don't not un-use at your own extreme eternal risk.